Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
