My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
