do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
