Is it normal to miss your booty call?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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