Having a random hookup so left but love u
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
