She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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