Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
