I wannas sexs uuuuu
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
