Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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