How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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