We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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