i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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