look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
