shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
