Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
