Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
well you can't waste a boner
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
