is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
i now understand why vodka
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
