you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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