It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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