He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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