What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
