Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
we're making bets on your personal life
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
