i would punch a child for taco bell
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
