just come out here and I will go home with you...
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
