lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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