Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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