i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
