Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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