OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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