How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I think we might need a safe word for this...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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