Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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