She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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