Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
