I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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