found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
