Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize
