he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
