So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize