The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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