He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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