he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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