Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
