You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
