I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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