so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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