I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
