I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
