and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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