I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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