yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
